blogpoems

Gray skies, gray city, dust greeted me
The rainy season in Osaka provided the metaphor
My eight tatami existence began in Orange House
I had no where to go but out

"Hello, my name is Michael and I'm a poet"
This became my refrain at every introduction
"Hello, my name is Michael and I'm a poet"
This was my mantra on every corner

Thus my tearing down had begun
I pulled out the roots of belief
I shook them them at each full moon
I trembled when I looked at the wound.

Smoking, I started my purgatory
Ruin and adventure met each day
Every night I would awaken into banality
After work gaigin bars and last trains awaited

The problem with this exercise in rediscovery
was its absolute meaningless effort
The trouble with this revolution of one
was failure was also success

A Torontonian didn't like my vocabulary
I was threatened for using too many syllables
I was accused of being loquacious
I laughed and opened another beer

A rough hewn Kiwi thought me too pure
after we shared a sweet smoke
She refused to sully me though had I asked
a moment of affirmation though rejected

The human touch found me at Club Oxygen
Teeth marks on the door frame
Stains on the tatami
Cicadas screaming at five-thirty

"This is a pen" is at ten
Cynicism in all its golden calf luster
Three Chu-Hi for lunch
"This is a red pen" at one.

The O-bon dreams waken me
Three old Japanese men murmur at the kotatsu
I take a long hazy gaze at them
They look once and turn back to their murmuring

I am recognized finally by a Russian
A poet I never met before lays claim
"I know you are a poet"
Pride, confusion and fear, brothers all, introduce themselves

A chord tightens, I am pulled
Writers Anonymous musters the moment
Shelter for the wounded and homeless
An open mic voice of uncertain vintage

It was at WA in Abeno where I first felt
The soulless hand of Johnny Walker
I wish I could remember what happened
The pitiful rendering of angst became a gapping wound

Joyful and bright eyed purity blinked
Incomprehension and abuse followed
"Fuck You" a badge of honour and humiliation
Whiskey lubricating my steel on steel existence

Desperation entered, marriage followed
The need of woman took hold and wouldn't let go
No matter how I shook, railed, sputtered, struck
The need of my woman took over and stayed

A child is born, reality weighs an anchor
Beauty becomes a word again
Fatherhood resting easy on my shoulders
Shame begins its slow ascent

The last time I felt the soulless hand
Its bony grip was at my throat
The next morning my rage found its apogee
huddled in the corner, the smell of fear everywhere

This descent was no rabbit hole
The liquid stone of Chu-Hi no respite
No i-sho of Sake could hide the damage
Still I poured wine over the marriage altar

A dirty pride began to grow
I growled through each night
With glass and pen I wrote poems to justify
Poems that couldn't purify, though I tried